Ok - I am working temporarily at the company I left early in 2008. It - like a lot of companies is dealing w/ the economic voodoo going on. So - things like the fabled 401k match is gone - and salaries frozen - and bonuses nixed. Everyone still has jobs - so good is good.
But then they send out email blasts that ponder things that definitely should be put on hold as well. Today's example that made my head and left elbow hurt: the new "lean & green" office they built less than 2 years ago with all new everything - they sent out a poll to the entire office to vote on accent colors to zazz the place up - will it be orange, or yellow, purple or chartreuse - vote early and vote often! Money well spent, I am sure.
BONK!
Now - mind you a few years ago - I was hot and heavy in the campaign for the blue M&M - but that's more of a faith-based decision...
On your right side are several ostriches being chased by a lion.
In front of you are four large gazelles that won't get out of your way and you can't seem to overtake them.
Behind you is a stampede of horses.
What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation? For the answer click and drag your mouse from star to star. *Get your drunk ass off the carousel. *
Just because it's Monday. We're finally getting a nice steady light rain here and the garden and plants are loving it. Have a great week out there ~ E.
(Thanks to Kris for this photo - I'm not asking where he found it...)
One of those e-mails... that actually cracked me up... Insight into the minds of 6th graders: The following were answers provided by 6th graders during history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the best humor is in the misspelling. 1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada . 3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. 4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. 5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. 6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the Java. 7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul . The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." 8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. 9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah." 10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. 11. Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper. 12. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. 13. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. 14. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. 15. Abraham Lincoln became America 's greatest Precedent. Lincoln 's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin, which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show . They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career. 16. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. 17. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this. 18. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Madman Curie discovered the radio. Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.
A friend passed along an article about the paper tray inserts that Burger King has used somewhere in the world (there's a series of them) to show that they are very selective in their vegetable ingredients.
Too much: the Pickle Cop and the look on the Onions face - priceless.
My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears.
He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine.
The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover.
At the register the druggist tells her, "If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days."
The lady says: "I'm not using it under my arms."
The druggist says: "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days."
The lady says: "I'm not using it on my legs either; and if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer." The druggist says: "Stay off your bicycle for a week."
